Love, Marriage and Responsibility.

Love... The most celebrated feeling...There won't be too many people who didnt jot a two or three lines, down about this wonderful feeling..this feeling gave wings to the expressions of the poets, novelists, artist, actors,and even to many bloggers..

 We know the ultimate goal of any true love is to be together forever, through the institution known as marriage.One day I was wondering about the changes of phases in a relationships and the responsibility factor.

I feel, we have to cross three phases before we finally land onto the successful 'marriage' institution through love. First one is the 'falling in love' or infatuation stage. Second one is, the stage when both started loving each other. And finally, marriage. So we can say the milestones as, initial meeting or something like that, proposal and marriage.

Infatuation stage:

According to me, this is the best of all phases. In this stage, one of the future couples- or both as in the case of love at first sight like things-starts to develop an interest towards the other person. In this phase, the one person may or may not know the other person's feeling. But there is a joy in dreaming of a boy or girl and to spend sleepless nights with his or her thoughts [ for the time being, i will use 'with her thoughts' etc., coz it is being written in a boy's perspective ;) ] Most importantly , in this phase we lack all kinds of responsibility. Thats is the very reason why I said that this is the best of all phases. By the word responsibility, I meant the general things such as meeting her by leaving all your works behind, spending time with her etc.. We need not have to bother about all these responsibilities, for the reason that we haven't yet started the relation. Everything is in our mind. 

But very interestingly we are completely, even 200% wiling to dedicate all our time for her. The more intense our feeling , the better. We will find ways to see her, will wait hours to get a glimpse and all kinds of adventures!!!


And one day, on the summit of anxiety, excitement, ecstasy etc etc.. with lots and loads of tension and increased heart beats we just express our feelings. I couldn't understand yet, why do we fear so much to speak some words, some 4 or 5 words,arranged in some special order(!) but still, somehow, it remains as a fact.


And there starts the next phase, provided the other person also accepts and re-arrange some another 5 or 6 words or less.
Love:
According to me, this is the second best phase. In this, a kind of responsibility has to be there in order to move the whole thing ahead. We need to spend quality time with her chatting some sense or non-sense, some joke or future plans etc etc depending upon the individuals and intellect. 


Our experience, theories in economics and some other theories points its finger to a fact that we gradually lose our interest in a things after achieving it. We don't have the craze towards computer,car, bike and many other things as we had earlier. Same is the case with relationships too. Strangely and interestingly, we lose the intensity of interest in our love and the so called responsibility become a sort of burden. But still we bear everything for the sake of the sacred feeling.


And to reach the next milestone, we again with lots of pain and hardships, by moving against every opposition with  a courage acquired from some unknown world, we do anything and everything and even the impossibles. And finally we achieve it. So into the final state..into marriage. Yes, here we are talking about a successful love story only.


Marriage:
So with that marriage, the love was successful. But this is the phase of real responsibility. In this phase we are stepping down to reality from a dream world known as Love. And when we starts to experience the reality, the very thing that lead them to this state starts to vanish from life. The element of love is no where to seen except in a few occasions. And our increased responsibility again make the going rough. The 'so far' hidden negative sides of personalities starts to show their color from both sides. 


And some day, when looking back, we search hard to find where they lost their precious love. When it is hard to find, we think about the past days and think "For this, everything happened??"


But this is one side of one story. There is another side for this story in some other story. And there are so many other stories. So whats your story. What ever may be the story, don't let the LOVE die in our lives. Its really a great feeling. It has to be experienced. 


And Love to hear more from you..Expecting your comments..

storie - de - programme

#include < Oneday our hero was, like anyother day, using his precious orkut account. 
That particular day, he got a new friends request and that too a girl. 
He checked her name. No, not any of his friends. Didnt even hear her name previously.
But who cares, its a girl no. 
So he jumped into her profile and found only two other friends, a girl and a boy.
Not much friends!! May be she has just started orkuting,he thought. >


char day1( ),day2( ), day3,...dayN( );


char day1( )
{
"who is this may i know you?"

"hi...i jus saw ur profile...got intersted..dats it.."

"..k ... so wt u doin"

"jus like u..jus compltd ma course"

"oh..dats great...hw was the xams n all"

"blah blah blah"

"bleh bleh bleh"

}

day2( )
{

"blah blah blah"

"bleh bleh bleh"

}

day i ( )=day2( );

for (i=3; i

{ 

day i( );

}

print " Friendship got stronger "

day N+1 ( )

{ 

check profile( );

{ 

show results ? = "3 friends, 257 scraps, 3 communities"

}

}

function call doubt( )

{ " is that a real profile or what"

"will it be a fake profile?"

}

function call clear_doubt( )

{ " hey, why do u chat wit me only..i cud see only ma scraps there..y??"

"nothin..not many frenz rnt here"

"so u r here to chat wit me only????!"

"i don know "

"so hw did u come to know abt me?"

"thru a frend f urs"

"whoz that"

"i cant say that"

"y?"

"i cant tel u the reason too"

"y....y...??"

"i cant"

}

if ( user = fake_user)

{

if(fake_user= male)

{ "It will be a great shame on myself"

" I wasted all my time and energy"

"But i should act like a clever man and let him know that i knew that she was he earlier, and was playing around to know how far would it go"

}

else if( fake_user= female)

{ "its still a lottery"

"she gotta be my fan or admirer!!"

"No prob in continuing the chat and later i'll ask her real identity"

}

}

else

{ "then user is real, but a kind of different, may be a bit eccentric"

"but,still she gotta be my fan!"

}

getting_proof( )

{

"extracting ip address and verifying the location"

result : affirmative

"location got confirmed"

" asking for photo in a joyful mood,expecting a negative"

result : negative

"identity not confirmed"

"asking for mobile no. in another playful mood, expecting another negative"

result : neagtive

"identity through voice not confirmed"

"identity cannot be trusted as real , still chances of being fake"

Re_think( )

{ "why wasting your time for a "beeper" "??

"let him/her do his/her business"

}

mistery_coninues( );

forced_exit( );

Return comments( );

Thank you.

NB: Geeks pls don't scrutinize this. I am just a poor blogger, not a programmer.

This special story is dedicated to someone who encourages me to write more.

Here is her SPORADIC THOUGHTS.. 

why should i write..??

I am an egotist.. I feel important when I write something.. I feel that the thing I am writing is of very important matter, only i can do it.. and appreciation also keeps it all  going.. I may even try to write a book.. hoping to become a world classic or best seller...
But i do understand that I am nothing... I may be something, but in nothing.. Yes pride goes before the fall..

You can think you are the best, until you meet the 'better than the best'. As long as your ignorance is great, your inexperience is vast, your acquaintance with greatness is less, you feel important.... But the day you meet something real good...that is the day you realize everything...

I want to realize that I am nothing.. what ever i thinks or believes is not as great as i think..why should i write then??

But i will write..not for anyone else..but to satisfy my ego... jus to consume some more blogger space with craps..!!
but does anyone feel that i must write?? No... why should they??

Philosophers...

One of my scattered dreams once took me to one of the works of a great philosopher.

He is really a great philosopher. But if i understood his philosophies, i cant say that he is a great philosopher. Because if I have to say he is great, I need to compare him with the not-so-great philo. But according to his views comparison only give rise to sorrow. We compare something with something and out of its result, we became happy or sorrow. But we know, most of the time we became sad.

We tend to compare our todays with yesterdays, an event with another, a girl with another, our now with then, todays success with previous ones,  and so on and on and on.. it seems to be endless.. We are doing so , in order to get that bitter feeling when we understood the fact that today wasn't as great as that day!!

So comparison brings us sorrow. So we should not compare anything. Then how can I say he is great.
It means comparison brings sorrow along with it.

Is comparison the real culprit??
Its Thoughts!! Yes our thoughts are the root cause of everything..!!
We are comparing, because we are thinking..
So what we have to do?? Become silent in our thoughts?? Is that possible??

All thoughts are old.. They are simply the memories of our old experiences.  So when we are seeing a thing, we are actually associating with our old memories and actually perceiving everything through  the image that we have created in our mind!! It may sometimes bring happiness, sadness fear and many other feelings.. So thoughts  are the real cause of all our feeling. If we wanted to be happy always, we needed to see things as they are, not through the images that we have created, not with a pre-occupied thoughts.

So we need to control our thoughts. Actually we need to be a silent mind without any thoughts, to become happy forever. How can we achieve this?? By consciously controlling our thoughts??
But when we are consciously controlling our thoughts, it creates  some sort of resistance and so some friction in our mind. So it again worsen the situation.. So what we have to do??

Complete Confusion...Right??
That was the same thing happened to me also. I jus wanted to give you the same dose..but it is a kind of very low standard dose. I am never so great to interpret a great philosopher through my views.. If I ever try to do so, its out of my ignorance only.

How many of  you think that it is a complete crap?? if you feel that way, jus lemme know..

A foolish Crow.

Just like any other story, once there lived a Crow.  To make a good story, it must be different from others. Yeah, here also, the crow was little different from other crows. It was widely considered (by whom?!) as a foolish crow.

One fine day, there was a big party going on. Many of the crows including this foolish crow was present outside of the party hall. They were all waiting for their single course dinner of that evening. The time had finally arrived, the wastes were thrown out. Like an explosion, all the crows tried for their luck. It was a really a tough fight. It was always said that only the best would win in this kind of 'party fights'. Because everyone would be looking for the best and they all had to compete with all other crows around them, on the same time. So only the best would survive.

What is important according to our point of interest is that whether the foolish crow got  a piece or not.

Yeah, it also got a piece, and as a matter of fact, one of the best among the lot. It was certainly not as foolish as others say, one might think. It flew to the top of a big sign board with the meat piece on its beak.Some jealous crows were hoping to get that piece. But this special crow seemed to be familiar with the Aesop story and all. So it didn't act foolishly.

But, suddenly a view struck its eyes. Very high in the skies, an Eagle was flying, and the crow could easily see a big lump of meat under its claws. The crow was sure that if he could also fly that much high, finding better and bigger meat would be much easier. Without thinking much, It decided to fly higher. It dropped its hard earned meat piece and flew to the heights. Just to be like an Eagle!!

In order to reach the heights, he took off with all its energy  that even  the sign board shook.
And the sign board on which it sat read :

" The future belongs to those who believe in their Dreams ".

.

An Unusually usual Love story..

Once there lived a Lion. It was not like all other lions. He was a little different from other lions. He was very kind hearted and was very helping. He wanted everyone around him happy. Even during hunting for food, he showed sympathy to his preys.

One fine day, he was simply walking through the grass land. Suddenly some wolves started running as they saw him. And he saw a sheep crying, and she was badly wounded. The kind lion went nearby, but the sheep was even more frightened. She lost all the hopes to live and she was preparing herself for dying. But she never knew, it was a kind lion.

He took her under his protection and nursed her with utmost care. The sheep was all surprised t find a kind lion among all other sort of cruel animals. Her lost hopes came back. In fact they got brighter. Just like any other relationships, the admiration turned into Love. A sheep loved a Lion.

The lion understood her feeling towards him. But he knew all the consequences of the relationship.He always tried to avoid her. But one day he came to know that she has got no one, and nowhere to go. So out of compassion, he offered her a life.

Just like any other Leo, he also has all the Leo qualities. He was romantic, warn hearted, enthusiastic,broad minded and generous. She liked all those qualities and he liked her without looking too much into her life. He had some general concepts about a sheep. So they started a good life.The Lion loved her as far as he could and the sheep also loved him back very much. But sheep always wanted him beside her, she always wanted to be with him and to talk endlessly.

But Lion never tried to caress her or kiss her for fear that it would hurt her and leave deep mark on her forever. But she couldn't understand his behavior. She thought that his behavior had changed, and he no longer love her as before.

Similar problems were also running in lion's mind too. Leos by birth are ambitious. They always want more and want to reach higher and higher. He had great many plans in his mind, to be the King of the whole Jungle and to bring some rules to protect other small animals from the cruelty of big animals and so on. But she could never understand him nor his plans. She thought that he was also like any other big cat, he would go searching for prey and hunt it down and would come back to her, to share moments with her. She never bother to understand him and he could never live upto her expectations even though he understood her.

Misunderstanding grew in sheep's mind, while conflicts grew in Lion's mind. He couldn't do his works, her feelings always disturbed him. He always wanted to share his dreams and passions with her. But she always compared him with other normal cat's and so she could never inspire him nor motivate him. She always asked him about hunting and never bothered to ask about his big dreams or any other thing that would have inspire him.

Leo when not motivated, were simply a different animals. They became reserved and at times they are even dogmatic and intolerant. He went into his cave. He used to go to his came when some problems disturbs his mind all the time. And after solving the problem only he came out of the cave. He decided to go to the cave once again. But it was all new to her. She thought he was avoiding her, and he didn't love her anymore.

Inside the cave the lion thought. " She can never understand me nor my dreams and passions. She will never inspire me. And if she can't inspire me , I can't love her with my full heart. Yeah, I'm romantic, kind hearted,generous and all. But  I need motivation and I need to be motivated. As long as she can't help me directly or indirectly in achieving my goals, I can't love her back. I am not looking for all day love. Why did'n she understand that??! I need inspiration and appreciation.  If I still live with her, I can offer her nothing but sorrow only. Why should I keep such a beautiful and good girl always in sorrow?? If I'm doing so, I will be doing great wrong doing and injustice to such a nice sheep. All my life I will have to live with guilt and gut feeling. I am sure that I can live without her without any problem or what so ever , but what about her?  Now She can't think of a life without me! But if she still living with me, I can't offer her a happy life and throughout the life she will be in great sorrow. I will survive because of my busy activities. So its the best thing to break up. That will be fine for both of us. But she can't accept the fact. She will be shocked on hearing this. But its the best thing"

He came out of the cave and went out somewhere. When she saw him going away without telling a word, she concluded that he no longer love her. After some hours later he came back and without any introduction he threatened her that if she lived some more days  with him, he would hunt her down and kill her. He told her that he was getting hungry and one day he would kill her. So he told her to run away from his sight. But she told him that she would still be happy if he killed her. And she loved him so much, she added. Lion knew she was saying all these things sincerely, but for happiness in her life he felt she should go and he felt  it was necessary . But he insisted her running away and pushed her away and told her angrily that he never loved her and his feeling was compassion and compassion only. And again threatened to go away. And he roared in such a great voice that the whole Jungle trembled. She never saw him so angry and was frightened and in his next push she started to walk down the valley with tears in her eyes. She walked and and walked without knowing what had happened to her true love. She didn't even knew where to go. But when she reached the end of the valley, she was surprised to see a group of sheep waiting for someone.

Back in his cave, sat the lion with broken heart, but with a good feeling of saving one's life.

A Bird...

A few minutes before, it was raining heavily. I was standing in the balcony and enjoying the rain.
Well there is some beauty in rain to enjoy!!

After sometimes, when it all came to an end, I saw a small bird sitting in a tree branch.
What is so peculiar about it??!

Well, yeah... there is nothing much peculiar about such a day to day, common thing, unless we give some thought over it.

My thoughts ran like these..

The bird simply sitting in the branch. It does not appear to have some great goal in life, no purpose of life, not craving for attention .... It simply seeks to have a small, modest nest. It just need the sufficient amount of food for that day only. I do not know, weather it is jealous of other birds, animals or something else...
It leads a modest, simple life without seeking for a position, without seeking for power, without searching for recognition and admiration...

But what about man??!
He is always in search of more. And For him more is less.

When we understand the so called real truth of life.. competition, conflicts everything is a real wastage of energy.. But can we live a life like a bird?? I think no. Because the society has conditioned our mind in certain way so that 'life of a bird' has became a purposeless one as far as we are concerned.

I am confused... what to follow..where it will lead...
So I devised a simple solution. Go with the Flow.. How pathetic !!!!!